Wanna Hire Me a Girlfriend

Photo by Joyce Sheldon

Wanna buy me a girlfriend.

No, not like an escort.

Let me rephrase that.

Wanna hire me a girlfriend.

Pay her to like me.

Offer incentives for sincerity,

pseudo, or not.

Raises for positive performance.

A benefits package including

the pretense

I’m one of those benefits.

Bonuses for every year she stays

longer than the last one did,

who I should have paid

from the get-go

for putting up with me

as long as she did

for free.

Wanna hire me

a new

me.